It’s hard to believe, but Halloween is right around the corner. In the spirit of the season, and for those of you looking for last minute costume ideas, I wanted to share what costumes I would love to see at the parties this year.
#1 Princess Beatrice
There would be few sights more frightening this Halloween than walking down a dark alley and seeing this hat coming at you. I think I’d rather cross paths with Jason, Michael Myers, or a whole herd of zombies from AMC’s “Walking Dead.”
So, if you really want to scare your friends, this would be a good costume for you. It really wouldn’t take too much to duplicate this outfit either.
Find something octopus shaped, dye it a tacky beige, and attach it to a hat you already hate (which has also been dyed the same awful color). Once you’ve assembled the fugly hat, get a red wig, darken your eyes like a raccoon, and then buy some hideous outfit at Goodwill.
Tada! Instant horror show!
#2 Lindsay Lohan in jail
While not as frightening as Princess Beatrice, this one would be an instant hit at any party–just like Lindsay!
What would be more fun than tossing back a few drinks next to a drunken and staggering celebrity?
It wouldn’t take too much effort to copy this either. Simply take your old, orange correctional jumpsuit out of the closet (or borrow one from a more worldly friend), do your hair all purdy, slather on bronzer and eye make up, and then top it all off with a bottle of liquor for each hand.
Then go about the party talking trash about your family and pissing everyone off by being rude. No one will take it personally because, well, you’ll be in character.
#3 Marcus and Michele Bachmann
This costume would be ideal for a straight couple or a gay and his fruit fly of choice. This pairing could be the new dynamic duo and rival all those gay Batman and Robin’s circling the spiked punch bowl. Not only that, but these costumes have the potential to be even creepier than Princess Beatrice, if done right.
The Marcus costume would be easy. Simply put a gay man in a suit and have him act super effeminate (if he doesn’t already!). For Michele, the important part of the costume will be the wide, crazy eyes. Without those, you would simply be another woman in a Junior League pantsuit and a string of pearls.
When put together, anyone talking to you at the party will be creeped out by the constantly wide-eyed and grinning idiot with her arm around the man who wants to be the new First Lady.
#4 Representative Anthony Weiner
Since the former Republican Representative from New York sent out Twitter pics of his junk, his life hasn’t been the same, but thankfully for Halloween, it would make a fabulous costume that would have fellow party goers laughing. It might also get you a date or two!
This costume would be fun, hilarious, and well, scary, depending on how big of a Weiner (hehe) you decided to be. It would also be easy to duplicate! Simply wear a suit and tie on top and wear only grey boxer briefs for your bottoms. Then walk around taking Twit pics of your manhood and forwarding them to your friends.
If a couple is there as Michele and Marcus Bachmann, a Twitter pic of the three of you would be golden!
# 5 Occupy Wallstreet Protester and NYC Officer
This is another good idea for a couple or even a group of friends, and you can make a political statement while doing it. Talk about hitting two birds with one stone!
As for copying this idea, there are far too many to be mentioned. Dressing as a NYC cop would be easy. All you would need is the police uniform and a taser to subdue those unruly protesters.
To be a protestor, you would need signs such as “I am the 99%,” “Wall Street Needs Adult Supervision,” or any other catch phrase. Then, dress up in torn clothing or walk about without a shirt (quite symbolic). Then, all you would need to do is piss off your friend dressed as the cop and be tased to the delight of your fellow guests.
I hope to see these costumes at the two Halloween parties I’m attending. If not, I will be extremely disappointed. As for what I’m wearing, well, you’ll have to find me at the Halloween parties and find out for yourself.