A Reference Guide to the Gay Bear Culture UPDATED

About four years ago, I wrote “A Reference Guide to the Gay Bear Culture,” and you know what, it has been one of my most popular posts. I guess a lot of people love bears just like I do.

So today, I decided to update the post with new subcategories that have been provided to me through comments and e-mails on this pretty popular post. A big hearty thanks to all the contributors!

Here’s the link to that updated post if you’d like to read it. I’m planning a future update with pictures.

Growl indeed!

Growl indeed!

Do You Remember The Ambiguously Gay Duo? VIDEO

I’m starting another semi-regularly series here on my blog. I seem to be doing that a lot lately, huh? Oh well, I eight-track a lot in life, so why not on my blog too?

But I thought it would be funny to talk about things from our collective pasts that were once popular or trendy and relive them here. It’s fun to travel down memory lane every now and then, right? At least that’s what I think.

And while I was searching for a topic for today, I happened upon a video of The Ambiguously Gay Duo from Saturday Night Live. Naturally, I dove right in (just like Ace or Gary would do) and watched a couple of episodes.

I forgot how damn funny they were. But even more than that, they were pioneering in their depiction of homosexuality on television in the 1990s. Sure, it was for comedic effect. The skits were primarily to satirize the often homosexualized relationship between Batman and Robin, but it was groundbreaking at the time.

I remember the first time I saw Ace and Gary in action I was spending the weekend visiting my mother, and we stayed up watching SNL like we used to when I was younger. Even though we both laughed, I couldn’t help but wonder: am I ambiguously gay too?

It turns out, there was nothing ambiguous about that. I just hadn’t accepted it yet. Oh well! I have now, and there’s nothing ambiguous about me any more.

So here is a video with Ace and Gary in action. I hope you enjoy it again as much as I did the first and twentieth time I watched.

Shocking Ways Gay Sex Can Make Straight Men Better in Bed

I’m sure many of you are wondering if the title of this post is true. Can gay sex make a straight man better in bed? The answer, in my most humble opinion, is

5427792290_Hell_Yes_answer_1_xlarge Now, I’m sure there are some straight men staring rather dubiously at the screen right now.

See. I told you!

See. I told you!

They might be thinking that I’m just trying to get some poor, unsuspecting hetero into bed or that I’m just full of shit.

I can guarantee all readers that I have no ulterior motives and that I know what I’m talking about. In fact, I think many straight women might just agree with the points I’m going to make.

So for all you straight boys out there, grab a seat and take some notes because you’re on your way to getting a leg up on sex with a woman by reading about how two dudes get it on!

Foreplay is Required to Ride

You got that right, Betty!

You got that right, Betty!

Most straight men aren’t known for being lovers of foreplay. They want to skip the kissing and cuddling and head straight for Vag-land.

Seem familiar?

Seem familiar?

For many couples, it’s quite common. And why not? It’s the final destination after all, so straight men see anything before entering the land of milk and honey as a waste of time.

However, the journey is just as important as the destination. Would you rather fly cross country in coach or First Class? The destination is the same, but how you get there is vastly different.

Gay men understand that, and while we have no desire to visit Vag-land, we so love our frequent jaunts to Assvile.

Yay! We're almost there!

Yay! We’re almost there!

I think the different destination is why gay men are better at foreplay than straight men.

We can’t just rush into Assville.


Yes, I know!

Entering Assville takes careful planning and preparation. All hasty visitors are quickly denied entrance, and then everyone goes home sad. That’s why foreplay is integral for gay men. During the kissing, caressing, and massaging, relaxing occurs. While men lie in each other’s arms, gazing intently into each other’s eyes, the passageway to Assville is made ready.

Foreplay brings the couple together in spirit before the joining of the flesh, and learning that lesson is one step in the right direction.

Communicate or You Masturbate

Exactly, Lana!

Exactly, Lana!

Being verbal in bed is hot. No one wants to have sex in silence. That’s just weird.

But why is it that the noises most straight men make in the bedroom are so similar to the sounds they make while watching a televised sporting event? There is no crowd cheering you on in the bedroom, and the cheerleaders exist only in your fantasies.

Sure, groans, moans, and the occasional growl are appreciated, but the lips and the tongue should be used for more than just providing oral pleasure.

Keep calm and let me explain

Keep calm and let me explain

Women are auditory, and men are visual. And guess what? Most gay men are tuned into that and as a result are typically sexually stimulated by what they see and what they hear.

Gay men have no problem communicating how hot their partner looks, and who wouldn’t want to hear that during sex? But more than just the endearing appraisals, gay men aren’t afraid to talk dirty. The combination of the nice and the naughty can be mind boggling.

So learning to open your mouth and communicate with your partner is vital to being better in bed. If you can’t do that, well, then just stick with your hand. You don’t have to talk to it or buy it dinner.

Switch It Up or Hang It Up

Now, you're talking!

Now, you’re talking!

Variety is the spice of life, and variety in the bedroom just makes life that much better. However, some straight men can become complacent, especially in marriage. When they were single, it was all about the hunt, chase, and score, but once they are married, straight men lose that hunting instinct. Why hunt when they already have their prey at home waiting to be stuffed?

But women, especially married women, enjoy believing they are still worthy of being hunted. Gay men understand that. Even though we are married/partnered, gay men still go to clubs and enjoy when another man checks them out. It makes us feel as if we still got it going on. Who doesn’t like that?

That’s why gay men understand the importance of variety and try to avoid complacency at all cost. Who wants to do missionary every night?

Yeah, me neither

Yeah, me neither

What’s wrong with dressing in leather and a harness?

I agree completely, Sponge Bob!

I agree completely, Sponge Bob!


Why not sneak off into woods and see how much wood a woodchuck could chuck?


Because that woodchuck can definitely chuck wood

Learning to change up bedroom activities and keep it from becoming routine is the final important step to being better in bed. Don’t be afraid to try new things together. The both of you won’t like everything, but chances are you will find a handful of new activities both of you will enjoy.

That’s just a win-win for everyone, don’t you think?


Did the title of this post get your attention? Well, if you’re the naughty little visitors that I know and love, then it did. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But now that I have your attention, let me explain what The BJ Show is.

Yeah, I wish!

Yeah, I wish!

I’m afraid It’s not as titillating as going down on Ryan Gosling. But one can certainly hope, right?

The BJ Show is actually just my adorable husband and I playing around with the camera on our computer. No, you filthy little creatures! We weren’t doing that! Well, at least not that I can air for public consumption. Some things are meant to remain between husbands, aren’t they?

Seriously, though, Bruce and I decided to just turn on the camera, chat, and see what happens. We talk about living in a household with a gay romance author and a gay romance reviewer. We also discuss my really, really, really bad cooking. We’d never had so much fun making a video with so many clothes on. Um, I mean, we’ve never made a video before, and it was fun. Yeah, that’s what I meant!

Maybe we’ll do this more often. Who knows? But I thought I’d share the fruits of our labor with all of you.

I hope you enjoyI



A Tour of Provincetown: Tea Dance

As some of you might know, my latest release from Dreamspinner When Love Takes Over is set in the fabulous locale that is Provincetown, Massachusetts. In that book, the reader gets to experience P-town’s unique settings and one-of-a-kind parties.

Now, even though readers are treated to Zach and Van’s romp through these places, I figured it might be fun to provide a more intimate look at some of the best locales in Provincetown. So, today, I’ll be starting with the famous Tea Dance.

Just what is a Tea Dance?

Well, it’s a party that occurs daily on the pool deck of the Boatslip, which is also a hotel.

Tea Dance July 2013

More men than you can shake your stick at! Well, almost!

Another view of Tea Dance

Another view of Tea Dance

After purchasing a drink from one of the many bartenders, our personal favorite is Maria because she’s totally AWESOME, you then walk the length of the deck, drink your cocktail, and socialize. And BOY, do we socialize!

When your drink is finished, you repeat the process as many times as you can make the trip back to Maria. Just how many is that for me? Well, let’s just say that our alcohol purchases have taken care of Maria for life.

Then, there’s the dance floor, where DJ Mary Alice spins her tracks. From Solid Gold to 80s music and contemporary, there is music to fit most everyone’s tastes, and the dance floor is typically packed tighter than “a power bottom being double penetrated by two horse hung tops.” (That’s a direct quote from WLTO.) 😀

While it’s nothing like Zach’s first time on the Tea Dance dance floor, here’s a little video clip of us getting our groove on!


So, there you have it. Just a small glimpse at Tea Dance in Provincetown. Hopefully, some day you’ll join us. And if you can’t make it to P-town, you can always follow along with the adventures in The Provincetown Series. 🙂

Choose My Inspiration Winner Revealed!

I can’t believe that it’s time to reveal the winner of the Choose My Inspiration contest. It seems like just yesterday my husband and I were poring through the studs in our stable, painstakingly searching for the best stallions to trot before the public. It was a long, drawn out process of staring at half-naked, gorgeous men, but that was the sacrifice I was willing to endure for all of you.

I’m such a selfless individual, aren’t I? 😉

But alas, my sacrifice has finally borne fruit. After a long five-week battle, a victor has emerged.

Here is My Inspiration

Stud #16

Stud #16

And what an inspiration he is! Just look at that body! And the fur, well, that just melts my butter! I’m definitely inspired to write loads of fun for this stud. (Yes, pun intended)

But I wasn’t the only one who was inspired by Stud #16. He won 35% of the final round votes, so obviously many of you liked him too. If you’re interested in seeing those final tallies, click here.

As the winner, Stud #16 will be the inspiration for one of my main characters for the first book of my upcoming Key West Series. That novella is set to release in 2014.

But wait there’s more! This stud needs a name, and one lucky commenter won the right to name Stud #16.

What’s Stud #16’s Name?

Well, thanks to Jacquie Sawyer, Stud #16 shall now be known as Alan Bruce!

Alan will be having lots of fun in Key West, and I hope you will follow Alan into the pages of the first book of the Key West Series.

Thanks again to everyone for participating. Who knows? We might just be doing this again!


Contest: Choose My Inspiration FINAL ROUND

It’s hard for me to believe, but here we are in the FINAL ROUND of the “Choose My Inspiration” contest. Just a few short weeks ago, I started parading the studs in my stable for your votes, and now four weeks later, we have the final four hunks, one of whom will be the inspiration for the first novel of my new series.

I’ve told you over the last month that the new series will consist of three novellas set in a destination location just like my upcoming Provincetown Series. Today, I finally announce the locale for the new series. It will be set in Key West, Florida. If you’ve ever been you know exactly how much fun life on the Keys can be. If you’ve never had a chance to visit, perhaps my new series will inspire a future vacation.

But enough talk about this new series, let’s talk about

The Voting for the Final Round

Just like in previous weeks, you will only be able to vote for ONE of the four remaining studs. The stud with the most votes at the end of the voting period will be the photo I use to inspire me to write one of the main characters for my upcoming Key West Series.

Voting will occur between June 5-June 17. The voting will be open for almost two weeks to allow as many votes as possible, but also because I will be on vacation and away from my blog for a good week.

When I return from vacation, I will tally up the votes and see which stud has won.

The Winner

Not only will the winning stud be my inspiration, but one lucky commenter will be able to name that character for the Key West Series.

All you have to do is leave a comment on the “Choose My Inspiration” Final Round post on my blog. One lucky commenter will be chosen, and that commenter will have the right to name the character and see that name used in the book.

How much fun is that?

Please keep in mind though, only comments left on my actual blog will be eligible to win. Comments on Facebook pages and other social media sites will not count.

Let’s Ring in the Final Round

Here are the four studs who have earned the most votes over the past four rounds. Which one will win?

Will it be the tattooed stud from round 1? Will the adorable twink from round 2 obliterate the competition with his cute bubble butt? Perhaps the sexy, smoldering cowboy from round 3 will ride off into the sunset in my new book or will the scruffy stud from round four devastate the competition with his hairy manliness?

You will decide.

Don’t forget to click on the pic to see bigger…images. 😉 Additionally, please remember that in order for your vote to count, you must click on the radio button corresponding to your hunk below the images and then click on the vote button. Only votes cast in this manner will count toward choosing my inspiration. 🙂

Which of these 5 guys would you want to be a main character in my upcoming series? (FINAL Round)

  • Stud #16 (35%, 26 Votes)
  • Stud #7 (28%, 21 Votes)
  • Stud #14 (20%, 15 Votes)
  • Stud #5 (18%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 74

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Don’t forget to leave a comment to be entered for a chance of naming the character!

CONTEST: Choose My Inspiration Round 4

Well, we are almost at the finish line. Round 3 had just ended, and it was a cowboy massacre. But in the end, one stud came out ahead, and the winner for Round 3 is:

Round 3 Winner--Stud #14

Round 3 Winner–Stud #14

Stud #14 joins our winners from round 1, Stud #5, and round 2, Stud #7, in the final round, which starts next week! I can barely contain my, um, inspiration!

Now, it’s time to ring in Round 4!

As always, click here for the rules and the process in case you’ve forgotten.

So far, you’ve learned that the new series I’m writing on will be a set of three novellas set in a destination location. Just where is that? Well, I can tell you this: it’s set somewhere in the south. Maybe I’ll let you know where exactly next week. 😉

For now, let’s get to our final five men vying for your votes to be my inspiration. During week one, you had to choose from hot, tattooed guys. For week 2, you had a case full of Twinkies to sample, and last week, I strutted my cowboys out for you to giddy-up-and-go with. This week, the theme is scruff. So here they are in all their hairy glory. Don’t forget to click on the pic to see bigger…images. 😉 Additionally, please remember that in order for your vote to count, you must click on the radio button corresponding to your hunk below the images and then click on the vote button. Only votes cast in this manner will count toward choosing my inspiration. 🙂

Which of these 5 guys would you want to be a main character in my upcoming series? (Round 4)

  • Stud #16 (28%, 21 Votes)
  • Stud #17 (25%, 19 Votes)
  • Stud #19 (23%, 17 Votes)
  • Stud #18 (21%, 16 Votes)
  • Stud #20 (3%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 75

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CONTEST: Choose My Inspiration Round 3

Round 2 of the “Choose My Inspiration” Contest was just awesome. Once you guys put one of these studs in the lead, he stays there. Here is the winner from Round 2:

Stud #7

Round 2 Winner: Stud #7

Stud # 7 advances to the FINAL ROUND in a few weeks along with our Round 1 winner–Stud #5.

Round 1 Winner: Stud #5

Round 1 Winner: Stud #5

Now, it’s time for Round 3!

In case you’re just joining the contest, click here for the rules and the winner selection process that will take place during the FINAL ROUND.

Last week, I discussed that the new series I’m working on, the one which you readers will be choosing my inspiration, will be a set of three novellas. Today, I want to let you know that like the Provincetown Series I’m currently working on, this new series will also be a destination series. But where will that be? Well, you’ll just have to keep coming back to find out! I’m such a tease, aren’t I? 😉

But enough of that. I know you’re chomping at the bit to see the latest studs in my stable, right? Well, here are the five new hotties who want you to vote for them. The theme for this week is COWBOYS! Who’s ready to ride?

Don’t forget to click on the pic to see bigger…images. 😉 Additionally, please remember that in order for your vote to count, you must click on the radio button corresponding to your hunk below the images and then click on the vote button. Only votes cast in this manner will count toward choosing my inspiration. 🙂

Which of these 5 guys would you want to be a main character in my upcoming series? (Round 3)

  • Stud #14 (38%, 39 Votes)
  • Stud #12 (24%, 25 Votes)
  • Stud #11 (13%, 13 Votes)
  • Stud #13 (13%, 13 Votes)
  • Stud #15 (13%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 103

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